"Other boys I see are dating 'worldly' girls, holding hands, kissing, driving loads of 'worldly' kids around in their cars (elders son)."
Sadly, this didn't describe me when I was in school. I was fearful of the thought of even attempting to have a relationship with a worldy girl. I even avoided making friends with anybody worldly, not because I thought it was wrong to have a girlfriend or regular friends, but I dreaded the thought of being discovered and exposed for lliving a double life. As a result, my days in high school were lonely and miserable. I had no friends, even though I had mere "associates" that I chatted with now and then.
Then there were the times when people at the hall commented on how "upright" I was for not living a double life. The only reason I didn't have a double life was because I didn't have a life to begin with. Outwardly I was the perfect witness, but inside I was lonely, cynical, faithless, and despondent.